cybercoven.org

Hello world!

September 3rd, 2067

Welcome to my attempt at blogging. As fascinated as I am by LiveJournal, and the fact that all of my friends participate on it (with only a few exceptions), I just can’t bring myself to join that community. I’m frankly aghast at this desire to ‘journal’ in public… it feels vaguely obscene, like indulging in salacious finger-licking on Easter Sunday in a Catholic cathedral.

(A friend asked me whatI have against LJ and I replied:

“Nothing. Its just that so many Journals become housewife diaries. You know:

“Dear Diary, Adam looked at me today. It kind of freaked me out. Ate my apple per instructions.”)

The Journals that post real content on a regular basis — those are the Journals I respect and admire. I’m not ready for that, and in not achieving perfection I must find a soothing compromise.

Yet, like many ‘obscene’ things, I’m drawn to the process and I want to partake. So, welcome to my way of doing things: This is my walk on the borders, the fringes, and in between worlds.

Welcome.

Othello: A fluttering glide in madness

July 2nd, 2008

Othello is a difficult play for the modern woman — most of the time we just rage “why don’t the two of them just talk to each other fer chrissakes?!” Desdemona is often portrayed as naive and just a little stupid (careless inbreeding?) while Othello himself is a savage, incapable of reasoning and overly emotional.

In 1999 I saw a production of Othello here at OSF that blew me away. I disgraced myself in that I spoke out loud (and quite loudly) towards the end of the second act “I get it!” For the first time I saw Othello as a man in love for the first time, and just like any callow adolescent he was completely unable to make rational decisions about his emotions. Like a deaf man who suddenly has his hearing restored, the emotions are overwhelming. When they are positive — as they are early on in all new relationships — he is effusive and glories in how good it feels to be in love. But when things begin to go sour he has no prior experience to tell him this is normal, it will pass, it will get better. Finally, Othello made sense.

Nearly a decade later, Othello is back at OSF. This production took a different tack: Othello is mad.

The play itself provides for this interpretation: Othello falls down in an epileptic fit after being told that Cassio has confessed to having sex with Desdemona (apparently this line is frequently cut, I didn’t remember it from previous versions I’d seen), his demeanor gets increasingly ‘twitchy’ and he makes abrupt gestures as his speech becomes increasingly ragged. Ironically, his clothing becomes neater and more dapper as the play moves on. An indication of OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)? Peter Macon plays Othello with expansiveness and joy. Its nearly painful to see this goodhearted, ferocious warrior turn into a man tormented by his own dark jealousy. It’s clear, however, that his jealousy comes from his own lack of self-esteem when dealing with ‘civilized’ people (“Rude am I in my speech / And little blessed with the soft phrase of peace” Act I, Scene 3, 81–82.)

Iago . . . that gleaming icon of evil is a delight to watch. Played by Dan Donohue with sly deviltry and exquisite timing, Iago turns out to be a a lot funnier than we’re used to seeing (Donohue’s  physical acting is some of the best in the company). As always, the audience is left to wonder at his motive’s — is all of this *really* from being passed over by Othello in favor of ‘untried’ but clever Cassio? Here, we are given a glimpse that jealousy (ah symmetry!) may be also a factor in Iago’s hatred of the moor: “’twixt my sheets … (the Moor has done my office” Act I, Scene 3, 393–394.”

Desdemona is not Shakepeare’s best creations, but Sarah Rutan does her best, playing her with strength and a deep love for this foreign man that never falters, even when he kills her. Her physical acting was also superb, the body language matching the emotions and words generated with exquisite appropriateness.

This is a play of contrasts: Othello strides about in tight-fitting clothing in dark colors that he covers over with a gorgeous (sensual) robe in sunlight gold and (at the end) a cream-colored overcoat. Iago wears only gleaming black leather from his long overcoat to his boots. Briefly we see him in a plain linen shirt over his breeches, but that is quickly discarded for a bare torso as the action roars to its death-filled end. The final image, in fact, is nearly cinematic in its effect: the newlyweds lie upon one another in the marriage bed, wounded Cassio stands to the left, having just ordered Iago away to be tortured. Iago turns and moves to center stage, his reddish hair blond in the light, his skin milk pale under his overcoat, and the blood of his fresh wound drawing the eye into what suddenly seems like the only color on the stage.

Iago takes a half step forward, reaches out and the lights go out.

Woodsmoke in the Hills

June 30th, 2008

As we drove through Oregon, traveling the I-5 corridor, we marveled at the heat haze. It was dense enough to obscure the horizon, and even turned the nearby hills a dingy brown. What else could it be when its 100* degrees outside for a few days in a row?

Smoke.

Specifically, smoke from the wildfires raging through Northern California. Intellectually, we know that state boundaries are lines on a map, but even though we knew about the fires we never made the additional connection that the California border was only 14 miles south of Ashland.

The air smelled like woodsmoke, and it was incredibly dissonant — woodsmoke belongs to crisp fall or cold winter days, not sweltering, sweaty midsummer days. It turned the sky the color of a chicken’s brown egg — J. says it was the color of Donaldson’s Sun of Pestilence.

It began to clear, or the wind shifted, in the evening, and although the air was still heavy with smoke it wasn’t as aggressive. After the sun went down, in fact, it cleared quite a bit and cooled off.

I am Dr. Doom

June 25th, 2008

You are Dr. Doom

Dr. Doom
70%
Green Goblin
64%
Lex Luthor
62%
Mr. Freeze
56%
Apocalypse
52%
Kingpin
49%
The Joker
48%
Catwoman
48%
Poison Ivy
47%
Magneto
43%
Dark Phoenix
39%
Venom
36%
Riddler
36%
Juggernaut
32%
Mystique
28%
Two-Face
28%
Blessed with smarts and power but burdened by vanity.
Click here to take the “Which Super Villain are you?” quiz…

Fragment of a dream . . .

June 17th, 2008

It’s the last image from a fairly long dream involving a house full of people.

A tall, beautiful black man said to me, “I watched you sleep for awhile. Did you know you sleep with your hands clasped to your mouth? It’s like you are praying when you sleep. An angel you are indeed.”

I awoke with a song in my head . . . was it ‘Send me an Angel’ (any version, the original by Real Life, the cover by The Scorpions, or the infinitely superior cover by Zeromancer)? No. Nor any other ‘Angel’ song . . . it was Suncreem’s “God Heard You Talking in Your Sleep” which is a perfectly nice song, but far and away not their best.

So, God, what did I say?

Allyssium!

June 13th, 2008

Small white flowers, bunchy green leaves . . . my favorite groundcover, and perfect for growing in containers full of otherwise taller plants.

This year I planted a bunch of allyssium from the nursery, but also bought a couple of packets of seeds (as well as a packet of delphinium seeds) because I wondered if could grow my own. This is, btw, the seductive power of gardening. The weather’s been cold and I didn’t get around to planting any when I planted my containers a couple of months ago, but I did take advantage of a warmish day (above 60) last week and sprinkled the seeds into the top layer of dirt in a variety of containers that were looking sparse.

Lo and behold! Sprouts!

pictures to be posted later — gotta wait till morning to take them.

It’s a writing weekend

May 24th, 2008

Ideally this would be a writing weekend. But it’s also a mundane house project weekend. (We’re painting the bedroom again.)

* I owe T. the revised article for his latest anthology.
* The book now has a new title and the Intro has been running through my head for a few days, time to get that written out and a sample portion completed. Fortunately, Mercury Retrograde (May 26-June 19) has been a fruitful time for me to write in.
* I just received a pile of new books to review, and have several from my reviewers to post at FN.
* Jaguarmoon is back on track with the class, and I need to reach out to potential students to get their apps and share the relevant details with them all.
* I owe a friend a letter from February (damn, I am so bad at correspondence) and several friends from April. I owe my grandmothers long letters.

    Writing, writing, writing. I think I’m happy about it, but I also have the sense that this is a time when it will control me, which is frequently uncomfortable.

    It’s expensive . . .

    May 19th, 2008

    . . .  but worth it.

    http://www.autoblog.com/2008/02/17/tesla-whitestar-electric-sedan-to-debut-this-year/

    This car is gorgeous (yes, I have a ‘thing’ for muscle cars and sports cars, have for years) and since it is 100% electric it is incredibly low cost to maintain. 0-60 in less than 4 seconds, 135 mpg equivalent and 222 miles per charge. What’s not to like?

    The price: $50k-$60k. OUCH.

    But then I think about how much gas and maintenance costs and I start doing the math. Our car (a 2001 Nissan Sentra) hit the 100k mile mark last year, so we are planning on a) increased maintenance and repair costs and b) that it will go about five years more before *needing* to be replaced. We currently spend about $45/week on gas and another $100 for oil etc. changes every 3 months.

    A new car would reduce our gas consumption a bit, but not dramatically (unless we get a hybrid, of course); it will also cost us a monthly payment that we currently don’t have to make. Say a new (non-Tesla) car costs $30k, that’s a $20k difference. Presuming our maintenance is the same, and our car payments the same (not likely, but it makes the math easier), at $45/week savings, it will take 8.5 years to make up the difference. That’s too long. If the Tesla only cost $40k, however, it would only be 4.3 years. THAT is a number I can appreciate and support.

    Inkubus Sukkubus!

    May 13th, 2008

    Hey Technocowboy — look what I’m treating myself to:

    1 of Beltaine [Import] [Audio CD] Inkubus Sukkubus
    1 of Away With the Fairies [Import] [Audio CD] Inkubus Sukkubus
    1 of Vampyre Erotica [Import] [Audio CD] Inkubus Sukkubus
    1 of Belladonna & Aconite [Import] [Audio CD] Inkubus Sukkubus
    1 of Heartbeat of the Earth [Import] [Audio CD] Inkubus Sukkubus
    1 of Wild [Import] [Audio CD] Inkubus Sukkubus
    1 of Supernature [Import] [Audio CD] Inkubus Sukkubus

    If you’re good, I’ll share :-).

    Negativity

    May 4th, 2008

    One of the hardest tasks for me is finding the correct way to handle negativity directed at me. It is consistently a surprise when I encounter it, partly because I have been working so hard to transform my own critical/judgmental viewpoint into one that is more compassionate and positive.

    So when a peer comes *this close* to calling me a liar (by more-than-inferring that I made it up) I am shocked. It simply wouldn’t occur to me to accuse another of lying. Incompetence, yes. Making a mistake, yes. But In either case I try to approach it from the ‘oops, now lets fix it’ side of the road. Because in the end, thats what needs to happen. Blame is often not helpful, expect to know what/where/who to fix. Note that I said fix, not punish.

    Now, I am smart enough to recognize that my peer is doing a wonderful job of redirecting the energy so that I am the bad gal and I’ve had to devote way too much time to considering all that negative energy and what to do with it/about it.

    In the end I realize that keeping myself balanced and aware of the delightful effects of mirrors is the answer. My job in this lifetime is to be the best person I can be at any given moment. If I have done harm, then I must do my best to atone for it, or take my karmic lumps if they arise. The rest of the time, its my duty to put out th energy I want to get back. Being balanced (hello clean chakras!) and strong on several planes (mostly: material, spiritual, emotional) will help me to put out what I want, not what my id wants. (Id wants to throw mud and get down into it for a screaming, punching cat fight. Good thing Id isn’t physically manifested.)

    Send out the clean and healthy vibes, and that is what will be remembered in the end. I feel better already.

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