Ideally this would be a writing weekend. But it’s also a mundane house project weekend. (We’re painting the bedroom again.)

* I owe T. the revised article for his latest anthology.
* The book now has a new title and the Intro has been running through my head for a few days, time to get that written out and a sample portion completed. Fortunately, Mercury Retrograde (May 26-June 19) has been a fruitful time for me to write in.
* I just received a pile of new books to review, and have several from my reviewers to post at FN.
* Jaguarmoon is back on track with the class, and I need to reach out to potential students to get their apps and share the relevant details with them all.
* I owe a friend a letter from February (damn, I am so bad at correspondence) and several friends from April. I owe my grandmothers long letters.

    Writing, writing, writing. I think I’m happy about it, but I also have the sense that this is a time when it will control me, which is frequently uncomfortable.

    . . .  but worth it.

    http://www.autoblog.com/2008/02/17/tesla-whitestar-electric-sedan-to-debut-this-year/

    This car is gorgeous (yes, I have a ‘thing’ for muscle cars and sports cars, have for years) and since it is 100% electric it is incredibly low cost to maintain. 0-60 in less than 4 seconds, 135 mpg equivalent and 222 miles per charge. What’s not to like?

    The price: $50k-$60k. OUCH.

    But then I think about how much gas and maintenance costs and I start doing the math. Our car (a 2001 Nissan Sentra) hit the 100k mile mark last year, so we are planning on a) increased maintenance and repair costs and b) that it will go about five years more before *needing* to be replaced. We currently spend about $45/week on gas and another $100 for oil etc. changes every 3 months.

    A new car would reduce our gas consumption a bit, but not dramatically (unless we get a hybrid, of course); it will also cost us a monthly payment that we currently don’t have to make. Say a new (non-Tesla) car costs $30k, that’s a $20k difference. Presuming our maintenance is the same, and our car payments the same (not likely, but it makes the math easier), at $45/week savings, it will take 8.5 years to make up the difference. That’s too long. If the Tesla only cost $40k, however, it would only be 4.3 years. THAT is a number I can appreciate and support.

    Hey Technocowboy — look what I’m treating myself to:

    1 of Beltaine [Import] [Audio CD] Inkubus Sukkubus
    1 of Away With the Fairies [Import] [Audio CD] Inkubus Sukkubus
    1 of Vampyre Erotica [Import] [Audio CD] Inkubus Sukkubus
    1 of Belladonna & Aconite [Import] [Audio CD] Inkubus Sukkubus
    1 of Heartbeat of the Earth [Import] [Audio CD] Inkubus Sukkubus
    1 of Wild [Import] [Audio CD] Inkubus Sukkubus
    1 of Supernature [Import] [Audio CD] Inkubus Sukkubus

    If you’re good, I’ll share :-).

    One of the hardest tasks for me is finding the correct way to handle negativity directed at me. It is consistently a surprise when I encounter it, partly because I have been working so hard to transform my own critical/judgmental viewpoint into one that is more compassionate and positive.

    So when a peer comes *this close* to calling me a liar (by more-than-inferring that I made it up) I am shocked. It simply wouldn’t occur to me to accuse another of lying. Incompetence, yes. Making a mistake, yes. But In either case I try to approach it from the ‘oops, now lets fix it’ side of the road. Because in the end, thats what needs to happen. Blame is often not helpful, expect to know what/where/who to fix. Note that I said fix, not punish.

    Now, I am smart enough to recognize that my peer is doing a wonderful job of redirecting the energy so that I am the bad gal and I’ve had to devote way too much time to considering all that negative energy and what to do with it/about it.

    In the end I realize that keeping myself balanced and aware of the delightful effects of mirrors is the answer. My job in this lifetime is to be the best person I can be at any given moment. If I have done harm, then I must do my best to atone for it, or take my karmic lumps if they arise. The rest of the time, its my duty to put out th energy I want to get back. Being balanced (hello clean chakras!) and strong on several planes (mostly: material, spiritual, emotional) will help me to put out what I want, not what my id wants. (Id wants to throw mud and get down into it for a screaming, punching cat fight. Good thing Id isn’t physically manifested.)

    Send out the clean and healthy vibes, and that is what will be remembered in the end. I feel better already.

    I’m lucky enough to be able to listen to work in my office. Unlike most people here I can’t use headphones (I’m on the phone too much), so my music has to be played ‘out loud.’

    In honor of the Day I’m playing my Beltane Beat mix:

    • Thing Called Love — Bonnie Raitt
    • I Want Your Hands on Me — Sinead O’Connor
    • Sensual World — Kate Bush
    • Bring Me Some Water — Melissa Etheridge
    • Cathouse — Danielle Dax
    • I Need a Man — Eurythmics
    • Wrap It Up — Romeo Void
    • Little Earthquakes — Tori Amos
    • Love Shack — B52s
    • Tiger — Paula Cole
    • Steam — Peter Gabriel
    • Melt With You — Modern English
    • Friday I’m in Love — The Cure
    • Send Your Love (Dave Aude remix) — Sting
    • Ode to Boy — Alison Moyet
    • Warm, Wet Circles — Marillion
    • Ghost of a Texas Ladies Man — Concrete Blonde
    • Bodyrock — Moby
    • Honey — Venus Hum