I’ve been ruminating about this post since Azahar first brought the topic up in mid February. I’ve been holding off writing it becuase I really didn’t want to freak y’all out. (Isn’t that nice of me?)

In 2009 I finally completed writing my Last Will & Testament. (Good timing, huh?) It took five years, which is an absurdly long time for me. It took that long because I couldn’t think of a solution to how to pass along the intellectual property in my life. Not just the books, the articles, the essays and other writings, but also Facing North and — most importantly — JaguarMoon. You see, I created that Tradition.

Who would inherit it? Who would see it kept intact while still remaining viable? The text is already in the hands of my HP and the HPS and Elders of the daughter coven, Southern Cross, so I am not afraid of it being lost. I’m afraid of it being imperfectly preserved and its history lost. How would I write this up in a way that would allow the Law and the State to let it happen without penalty or misunderstanding.

Neil Gaiman, of all people, came to my rescue with his post about creative people creating a will for themselves. I downloaded the Simple Will and modified it for my use.

I made my partner, J., the executor. I gave my ritual paraphernalia and occult library to my HP as well as ownership of the legacy of JaguarMoon. I made my sister (the Intellectual Property lawyer), J. my HP and one other member of JaguarMoon Trustees of my creative properties. Together they will decide how to publish, re-publish, and make available my work for the greatest good.

I expect the names to change over the years (except my sister and J.), and my specific bequests may alter with time. In the moment, however, my creative life is preserved, and will be available to the community online for a long time to come.

An unexpected part of the drama that is my cancer life (as opposed to my real life) is the realization that I need to go through a number of legal hoops to ensure that, if necessary, J. can speak on my behalf when I can’t. For example, when I am unconscious during the upcoming surgery.

You see, although he is my life partner he has no legal right to speak for me, to be at my side during my hospital stay. We may own a house together, a dog our shared responsibility, numerous possessions, and have been together more than 6 years . . . all of that means nothing because we are not married.

So get married, some might say. Sure, I have that option because we happen to be of different genders. What about the many 1000s who are in EXACTLY the same situation but are of the same gender?

Why do I get to have a benefit that others don’t?

Marriage is many things. First and foremost, it is a declaration to one’s community that two individuals are now united, and that that unity must be respected. Secondarily it also represents a collection of shared rights and the attendant responsibilities. Lastly, and not always, it may be a religious covenant, depending on one’s beliefs.

We are a (theoretically) secular nation, according to the Constitution and the first two meanings of marriage (unity and responsibilities) are accepted and allowed, We run into trouble when we bring religion into the situation. At this time, one set of spiritual beliefs actively denies the cultural and legal rights of those who do not agree.

As a pagan, specifically a witch, there is no church for me to marry within; only a legal authority can pronounce me married. I can, of course, devise my own religious ceremony even act as my own priestess or call upon one of my friends to act as a Priest/ess in his/her own capacity. In doing so I can declare to my community that the two of us are no one. But of course, anyone can have a commitment ceremony and make this public declaration of unity.

But I’ll still get the rights and responsibilities of marriage if I get the legal pronouncement, because I am a female and my partner is male. I fail to see the legal rational for gender to come into the discussion. That’s like saying that men can’t work in nurseries because they can’t bear babies. And in this day and age it getting more absurd to base legal decisions on gender. I personally know a lovely woman who was a biological male (an Eagle Scout no less!) who married a lovely woman. Several years after their marriage, he decided he was more appropriately a SHE and underwent the full conversion, including surgery. They are still married; but they are now both female-gendered. Was the marriage nullified? At what point? Pre-surgery? Post-surgery? When she changed her name?

Is the marriage of two people who never have sex with each other,but exclusively seek sexual relationships outside the marriage, any less a legal marriage than the couple who devotedly share their lives only with one another? If a homosexual man and lesbian woman marry, is it illegal? They are male and female, after all. Or is it that such a relationship doesn’t count because marriage must be for the purpose of having children?

Is there a time limit? If no children are produced within 5 years of a marriage, should the marriage be dissolved? Life is busy, lets make it 10 years. Or do you have until the woman hits menopause? Do we need to start forbidding marriage in partners too old to have children (like the seniors who are widowed and remarry)? What if one partner is barren? If they adopt, does that count? What about artificial insemination? Because those alternatives to man-woman procreation save the sanity of many otherwise childless couples — and are just as available to same-sex couples.

Marriage is always an announcement to the community: we two are now one.

Marriage gives each person rights, and responsibilities. Denying those rights, and responsibilities, to any group — at all — is discrimination. How dare we?

Marriage may be a spiritual rite of passage, in which case that needs to be the business of the people in the marriage, and perhaps their community, or some part of it. That’s it, end of story.

Hi All!

My article/essay on the Wiccan Rede is now published over at The Magical Buffet: http://themagicalbuffet.com/blog1/2009/06/01/the-wiccan-rede-project-lisa-mc-sherry/

Comments welcomed.

A key component of frugal living is: Live within your means. One way to do that is to shed that which you do not need and consciously simplify your surroundings.

I freely confess that I’m a bit of a hoarder, and I’m definitely a collector. Knowing that, I either deny my collecting desire, or play games with my self to keep it under control. Making rules like “you can only add something if you get rid of at least one other thing” help me keep it in check. Thinking about how I’m spending money on <insert object>rather than saving for the trip to Venice also helps.

Simplifying your surroundings has a lot of benefits. It’s easier to clean, for one thing. It’s more restful on the eyes, for another. But it goes beyond that to a place where the conscious evaluation of your living space may mean that you entirely change your environment. That is rightsizing.

I am looking ahead to when I’m older and I know that I will want a very different space than where I am now. I live on three stories which is great when I’m confident my limbs will take me up and down stairs easily — but when I’m 60 (or 80!) those flights of stairs only add to my potential to fall and injure myself. (Which, I have to say, I’m likely to do given my childhood penchant for falling down stairs.)

Given that, living on one floor becomes much more important. Or maybe two, with the second floor for guests and storage. There is a strong possibility that my mother will live with us for a portion of the year, so my next home will have some kind of mother-in-law private space/apartment for her. I absolutely want a garden space, I want to grow more of my own food, and when I’m no longer working that produce will be a supplement to the household costs.

I think I want a smaller space, but when it comes down to it, I’m not sure that is strictly true. I can’t imagine not having my own office/ritual space. And J needs his. We’ll always need that guest space, and even if we combine it with the workout room (as it is now) that doesn’t *save* space. I don’t need two living rooms, though, just room for the books in what I’ll affectionately call the media room (that is, where we watch tv), but that room better be big to hold all of those books. We need a dining room that accommodates a table for 10 (12 would be better, but its hard to find a table that big that isn’t custom made) because we do entertain a couple of times a year, and often have people over for games.So, if not smaller, then it would be laid out differently, with more planning and practicality.

But a component of rightsizing is to deliberately review your life and plan for what you want to be a part of it, instead of what you’ve got. For me, that means reviewing what we have — and periodically getting rid of what we do not use.

This month, May, we’re doing just that. (We started in April, but the month got away from us.) Along with putting up the rugs and switching the drapes from the winter-weight to the summer-weight, we’re going through the closets and the garage and asking ourselves; do I use this? does it have a use at all? is it sentimental in value?

What it’s led to is that we’re going to store our CDs in sleeves ($4.99 for 100) in a box in the garage — this frees up quite a bit of space in J’s office and a shelf in mine.  Photos are either getting put in an album, or tossed. Non-memory-related paper materials are being scanned and stored on an archive drive. J is selling his Dwarven Forge terrains and we’ve already taken a lot of scrap wood and materials to the dump. There are a number of appliances that are now on ‘probabtion’ — if I don’t use them in 2009, they are going away. This includes the Atlas pasta maker I’ve owned since 1994 and have never once used and the Donovi ice cream maker that I use every couple of years.

And, of course (and most importantly) we’re talking about it. Js expectations are different from mine, and we’ve got to negotiate our way through the differences.

 . . . but don’t you dare take away our eggs!

 Here we are once again at the balance of night and day. We made it through a tough winter, and its time to start planting the seeds for a healthy, hearty, harvest later this year. Ostara is an old word, derived from the Germanic Oestre or Eostre (“to shine”), and it is the only pagan celebration that is not Celtic in origin. (I can see why, at this time of year the Celts were most likely still trying to keep warm and not thinking about planting just yet — that would be more like late April, or Beltane.)

In our lore, the Maiden is now old enough to become a mother, and this is a feast of loving union. Put more bluntly, the fields need plowing and seeding and the God and Goddess are going to do that for us.

What does that have to do with eggs? Much less colored and decorated eggs? Eggs are one of the most potent (and literal) symbols of fertility, and spring is the season when animals begin to mate and flowers and trees pollinate and reproduce. By decorating eggs with intent and purpose, we are creating simple spells for fertility, luck, abundance, etc. Many cultures, notably the Greeks and Slavic cultures have a long history of decorating eggs to give to others, often with very specific symbols being used and passed down from generation to generation.

This practice continues to this day. Families decorate eggs as part of their culture, most often just buying dyes and using them on hard-boiled eggs. Some get more elaborate and use crayons to mark symbols on the eggs (which remains white after the egg is dyed). Artists, however, have created elaborate and beautiful eggs and there is even a guild, The International Egg Art Guild, which promotes the craft of egg artistry. (The site is full of gorgeous examples.)

So if you want to bring some abundance into your life — whether that means money, fertility, or creativity — take some time to decorate eggs and put some energy towards manifesting that energy in your life. I know I will.

I, like many people, try to live my life in an ethical way. “Harm none” is the highest I can aspire to, and it is frequently not met at the end of the day, not because of the deliberate actions I took, but because the choices I made were between two things that weren’t a win to begin with.

For example:

1. Food: Buy local, even though it isn’t organic? Or organic, shipped from who-the-heck-knows-where? Buy local or buy fair trade? Buy organic, or spend less on food?
2. Charity: Do I give a dollar to the person holding a sign saying she’s hungry and out of work? Or to a national corporation that has offices, staff, and a 40% administrative budget (which means only $0.60 of my dollar goes where I want it to)? Even then – who do I give to? Organizations that focus on women’s rights like fair pay, reproductive freedom, or politics? How about Pagan groups that are trying to create community in various ways and places so that we are not a faceless (ignorable) groups? Or perhaps those that fight for people’s rights – no matter gender, race, or religion?
3. News: Whether print, electronic, or TV – news sources are getting more and more dramatic and less and less factual. Stories rarely present both sides, and if you believe every word they transmit, the end of the world happened a decade ago and we’re just now catching on. Do you watch it and therefore support it? Or ignore it and miss out on knowing what’s going on in the world (even if distorted)?
4. Make it or buy it? Homemade food is so much better tasting and frequently healthier, so that’s usually easy. But when it comes to things the situation is more difficult. Self-sufficiency is sustainable, increases your skills, and keeps you involved in the world. Making things is also usually less expensive and gives you a great deal of control over product choices. But it takes time to learn new skills, time spent on making a mess of things, and sometimes making the original situation worse. Moreover, if I’m increasing my skill set, I’m depriving another person of their livelihood.
5. Do I buy from countries that have horrific labor conditions or do without? It may be labeled, but sometimes we need what is offered, no matter where it is from. Do I buy knowing I’m supporting a multinational with near-slave working conditions in other countries, or wait until I can afford to pay more for fair labor practices?

Then there are the larger issues:

1. Where to live: Do I go urban: cheap transportation (at least here in the PNW), tons of culture, and necessitates a smaller living space ‘footprint’ which is ecologically sustainable, but the air quality can be poor, the closeness to others creates higher stress, and the noise can create health problems. Country: long (energy wasting) commute, harder to sustain infrastructure, isolated yet it also has healthy air and easier access to organic food and space to roam. Suburbs: neither twixt nor tween with its benefits and detriments as muddled as its location.
2. Immigration: This country is a paradise compared to many other places. At the current rates of immigration, the U.S. Population will rise to 300 million by the end of this century. At that level we’ll lose our last pieces of wilderness, have unmanageable pollution levels, and likely be unable to feed the population. What’s the cut off point? Where the line between what is good for our country (literally) and what is good for our world?
3. See #5, above. It fits here as well.
4. Are animals more important than people when it comes to arguing for rights and monies to make a positive difference in their lives? Frankly, this one wasn’t on my radar when I was a cat owner, but either I’ve gotten sensitized, or the media is stepping up the reporting, because I feel like I’m seeing pleas for the rectification of abused animals everywhere. I hate it. But do I put my (limited) energy towards correcting animal abuse? Or towards preventing child abuse?

In the end: why do I have to choose?

The Season of the Witch – what on earth does that mean? Traditionally, Samhain (pronounced SOW-in or SOW-aine and which non-Pagans call Halloween) is the celebration of the end of the old year and the beginning of the new. The word comes to us from Old Irish word for the month beginning on November 1. The feast celebrates the end of the harvest – a huge effort for agricultural communities as they rushed to gather the grain and fruit (August and September) and then slaughter the meat needed for the harsh winter months (October). Once that was over, they could rest and throw a party.

Samhain is often called the Feast of the Dead which comes to modern witches from Celtic lore (as opposed to history or culture, please note). What we do know is that Samhain marks the changeover from the ‘light’ half or the year to the ‘dark’ half – which makes a great deal of sense when you look at the waxing and waning of the sun (particularly in northern latitudes) – it is about this time of year that we all notice that the days are significantly shorter.

The celebration began with the extinguishing of all fires in the land (except those needed for survival, such as for nursing mothers and the very old) and then the ritual lighting of a bonfire atop the Hill of Tara, which signaled to the rest of the land (also gathered atop hilltops) to light their own fires. Each family then solemnly lit its hearth from the common flame, thus bonding the families of the village together. The dead were welcomed, and celebrated at this feast, often with the custom of setting an extra place at the table for them. 

One of the most tenacious erroneous beliefs in non-Pagans is that Samhain is named after a Celtic Lord of the Dead. From this error has come a persistent belief that Witches (and Pagans) are worshipping said Lord, and thus is proof of our worship of Satan. From this point of view Death is evil and therefore worshipping a Lord of the Dead is worshipping evil. Let me first state that although there is Celtic character named Samhain, he is an incredibly minor person (he’s known only because Balor stole his magical cow) in the mythology. His reincarnation as the Lord of the Dead is the result of poor scholarship in the 18th century. Modern witches see Samhain as a celebration, not the worship of a so-called Lord of the Dead. 

Nowadays many of us prepare a meal made up of favorite foods of our beloved dead, set a place for them at the table, and entertain them with songs, poetry and dances. We may open a door or window to the west and specifically invite them to attend. If it is too cold for that (as it often can be) we may light a candle in a western window to guide them home. 

As I look to other religions, I see echoes of our celebration. The Catholics have celebrated November 2nd as All Souls’ Day for hundreds of years (and All Saints Day on November 1st since 844AD) and in fact some believe that Halloween was originally called Hallow’s Eve, for the eve of All Hallow’s (hallowed) Day. It was a night of vigil and prayer for the dead. In Chinese Buddhism there are three festivals for the dead: Qing Ming (Celebration of Tomb Sweeping; when they cleaning the graves and make food offerings), Zhong Yuan Jie (Festival of Hungry Ghosts; elaborate meals are served with empty seats for each of the deceased in the family, and Shao Yi Jie (Burning Clothes Festival; paper clothes are burned so that their ancestors have enough to keep warm in the coming winter months). 

In my tradition we celebrate by giving up that which we no longer need or want. One year a celebrant gave up the comfy chair he’d grown too used to in order to become more physically active. Other offerings have included cigarettes, chains of self pity, and the voice of the self-hater. We then learn the Mystery of Rebirth:

ALL: Everything passes, changes.

CRONE: Seed becomes fruit.
ALL: Fruit becomes seed.

CRONE: In birth, we die.
ALL: On death, we feed.

CRONE: For my womb is the cauldron of rebirth.
ALL: In us, the circle is ever turning.

From this point onward we no longer gather at the Full Moon to work magic, but instead are studying the ways of the Dark God/dess through a cycle of six dark moons (more on this in another post). In the dark silence comes the whispering of new beginnings, the gentle gathering of the seed’s strength. We turn our attention inward in celebration of this quieter time of the year. 

Witches work in balance, honoring both the light and the dark, for we understand that these forces have anything to do with Good or Evil, but are natural forces and energies. Without darkness, plants wither and fail just as they do without light. Samhain marks the time when we begin to look within, into the darkness so that we may understand and absorb that knowledge and in doing so, grow closer to the Divine. 

May the Beloved Dead bless you now and in the coming year!

References

“The myth of Samhain: “Celtic god of the dead” found at http://www.religioustolerance.org/hallo_sa.htm, accessed 10-25-08

“History of All Hallows’ Eve“ found at: http://www.catholicculture.org/culture/liturgicalyear/overviews/months/10_2.cfm, accessed 10-25-08

“Ancestors’ Sacrifice Festival“ found at: http://www.chinavoc.com/festivals/Sacrifice.htm, accessed 10-25-08

I just finished hiring a new person for a very specific role within my company. As usual, the most complicated part was the salary negotiation, and I have some advice (noticably less snarky than my job-application advice from a few weeks ago).

1. Ask for what you are worth. This is a problem for women more than men, and is one of the reasons women still make less than men in the workforce. I like to ask my applicants for their salary expectations at the outset (and get irritated when they don’t comply) because I –HATE — to play the bargaining game. Give me the number you think you are worth and give me the respect of being able to have a rational conversation with you about that number. I, being a good person, will not pay you less than I think you are worth just because you are low-balling yourself. This is a very good place for you to test your instincts. If you get screwed at the outset, how long will it be before you are loking for a new job?

2. Know what you are worth. Knowing your value is essential, and shows a specific interest in the industry — even if all you did was spend a few minutes on Salary.com, or asked current employees about salary ranges. That said, when negotiating, do not forget to include the total value of your compensation package in your value. Being paid an extra $5k a year is not nearly as valuable as not having to pay $500/mo in insurance and commuting costs.

3. Be professional. Amazingly, I do need to remind readers of this. Be polite, be courteous, be positive. Know your facts and be prepared to be informed of new things you didn’t know. Being rude to me may get the job offer rescinded.

4. Don’t gamble past your zone.  You can easily lose the job if you push it too far. I once had an MBA (just-about-to-graduate) apply for a job with us. His wife was 8 mos pregnant, and they lived about 4 blks from our office. I pointed out our 100% paid healthcare program, the easy commute, the flexible hours policy, and the fact that he probably wouldn’t work more than 40 hrs/week … he still wanted about 2x what we offer for entry-level in that position. I still think he made a poor choice, but its just as well for us.

5. Be patient. It can take longer than you want it to to negotiate a compensation package.

6. Be creative. Be open to changing what you want to accomodate company philosophy or culture, or accept a different benefits package in lieu of more money. I’ve had people ask for (and get) more time off each year, or flexible work schedules. If you are accomodating you may find yourself in a much better situation than money alone can provide.

I really can’t abide anyone who claims to be a christian. This goes double for “catholics,” “Presbyterians” or anyone whose religion takes more than 6 letters to spell (or two syllables). Mostly this is because I grew up in the NorthEast (US) which, along with bureaucrats and homosexuals, has a disproportionately high number of smug catholics who seem to regard contemplating a bloody man as an act of religious piety (come to think of it, these three things frequently overlap) . . .  I have come to the conclusion that christians are evil, not because they have a hard time doing as much good in the world as they seem to think others should do, but because they have such appalling taste. I mean, take care of the poor, promote abstinence, and go to church on Sundays. But do you have to do it while wearing tweed jackets, frumpy dresses, and hats that belong to an age almost half a century ago?

I’m making a point here. The above is a re-write of the below paragraph with one word (and its associations) changed. It would have been even more pointed had I used African-American instead of ‘christian,’ wouldn’t it?

“I really can’t abide anyone who claims to be a pagan. This goes double for “witches”, “wiccans” or anyone who spells “magic” with a “k”. Mostly this is because I grew up in Canberra which, along with public servants and lesbians, has a disproportionately high number of smug hippies who seem to regard recycling as an act of religious piety (come to think of it, the three things frequently overlap)… I have come to the conclusion that pagans are evil – not because they get in touch with the devil or warp the minds of the young or are responsible for more bad heavy metal art than anyone else, but because they have such appalling taste. I mean, sure, get in touch with the Great Spirit, run through the woods and kill a goat. But do you have to do it while wearing crushed velvet harem pants, Robin Hood shoes, pentagram jewelery and a purple satin cape?”

From: “Bring back the witch hunt” by Brendan Shanahan, printed in Australia’s Daily Telegraph, March 2, 2007. http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,21308511-5001031,00.html

(My thanks to The Wild Hunt blog for pointing this out.)

Kuan Yin (觀音; Pinyin: Guān YÄ«n) is the bodhisattva of compassion as venerated by East Asian Buddhists, usually as a female. She is also known as the Chinese Goddess of Compassion by many. Kuan Yin originated as the Sanskrit AvalokiteÅ›vara, which is her male form. Commonly known in the West as the Goddess of Mercy, Kuan Yin is also revered by Chinese Taoists as an Immortal. The name Kuan Yin is short for Kuan-shih Yin (Py.: Guānshì YÄ«n, 觀世音) which means “Observing the Sounds of the World”.
 In Japanese, Kuan Yin is pronounced Kannon (観音) or more formally Kanzeon (観世音); the spelling Kwannon, based on a pre-modern pronunciation, is sometimes seen. In Korean, this incarnation of Buddha is called Gwan-eum or Gwanse-eum, and in Vietnamese, the name is Quan Âm or Quan Thế Âm Bồ Tát.
Kuan Yin is the Chinese name for the Bodhisattva Avalokiteśvara. However, folk traditions in China and other East Asian countries have added many distinctive characteristics and legends. Avalokiteśvara was originally depicted as Buddha when he was still a prince, and therefore wears chest-revealing clothing and may even sport a moustache. However, in China, Kuan Yin is usually depicted as a woman.
 In China, Kuan Yin is usually shown in a white flowing robe, and usually wearing necklaces of Indian/Chinese royalty. In the right hand is a water jar containing pure water, and in the left, a willow branch. The crown usually depicts the image of Amitabha Buddha, Kuan Yin’s spiritual teacher before she became a Bodhisattva.
There are also regional variations of Kuan Yin depiction. One of these is that of Kuan Yin with fish. In this depiction Kuan Yin is depicted as a maiden dressed in Tang dynasty style clothing carrying a fish basket. This is popular in the Fukien region of China.
Along with Buddhism, Kuan Yin’s veneration was introduced into China as early as the 1st century CE, and reached Japan by way of Korea soon after Buddhism was first introduced into the country from the mid-7th century. (from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kuan_Yin)
From Goddesses and Heroines by Patricia Monaghan:

It was said that Kuan Yin was so concerned for humanity that, upon receiving enlightenment, she chose to retain human form rather than transcend it as pure energy. And so she would stay until every single living creature attained enlightenment. Her name translates “she who hears the weeping world”; Kuan Yin sat on her paradise island P’u T’o Shan answering every prayer addressed to her. The mere utterance of her name in prayer was said to assure salvation from physical and spiritual harm. Even better was the observance of Kuan Yin’s own testimony of peace and mercy; her most devout worshipers ate no flesh and lived entirely without doing violence to other beings.

Sometimes it was said that Kuan Yin originally lived on earth as Miao Shan, a young woman of unearthly virtue. Although her father wished her to marry, Miao Shan decided to visit a monastery, which, contrary to her expectations, was a hotbed of vice. Her father, hearing of her presence in the convent and suspecting the worst, burned it to the ground. A rainbow carried her to heaven, where her innocent death earned her transmutation into the divine world. (from http://www.hranajanto.com/goddessgallery/kuanyin.html)

Kuan Yin’s birthday is celebrated on the 19th day of the second, sixth and ninth lunar month. Bake a sweet cake and lay it before her, or pour a bowl of milk in her honor. Light a stick of incense – flower-scented or sandalwood are especially please.
Most importantly: contemplate compassion and its role within your life. Work with the heart chakra, to open and cleanse it completely, allowing you to give – and receive – compassion’s gift in your life.