It’s been months since I’ve been here, and it’s the same old reason — too busy.  I mean well, but time is flying by and, quite frankly, I’ve been spending much of it on myself and not on things relating to others. This year — since Samhain ’13 — has been an introspective one. Not by conscious choice, but it seems to be working out that way.

The AoR class is doing well, we lost our most voluble students, and have been dealing with the dramatic change in the energy that resulted, along with a real surge in everyone’s business. It’s been interesting. On the JaguarMoon side. I’ve been contemplating how to create real, serious, training on how to lead the group, because whatever we’ve been doing to date is not working out. It’s not wrong, just not right. And if I want to create a legacy, that needs a new manifestation.

I had tea with an old friend yesterday and it was the first time I’ve just sat with someone and talked in ages. Not just months, but years. I miss it terribly, but feel daunted by the all-consuming SCHEDULE that we all live within. I try for the occasional lunch, and manage to keep people visiting for social events like dinner and games. So we are socially isolated. But I myself no longer have one on one sessions with friends where we just . . . talk.

I’m more than six months past the big event of quitting Tamoxifen now, and it continues to be a whole new world of wonderfulness for me. The biggest new information is that I am finally losing weight and — more importantly — inches from around my middle. I am not naturally an apple shape. I’m an hourglass, with a slight tendency towards being heavier on the bottom. So when my post-cancer shape became distinctly apple-like, I knew it was the drugs, not me. Sure enough, quitting T. has begun the shift back to my more-normal shape.

Since my high of X in May 2013, I’ve lost 17 pounds, with 2 inches off my waist, 3 off my belly, and nearly 3 off my hips. It’s been a slow loss, which I don’t mind at all. I dare say that most of my friends and work colleagues haven’t noticed, but I do. (Of course, J. does as well.) I am moving so much better, sleeping better, and just feel better in so many ways. Making healthy decisions is easier when you get the constant positive reinforcement, and the occasional set back (holidays!) wasn’t a major problem. I just kept right on doing what I could, when I could, and kept making progress.

My next weight loss goal is another 10lbs (at a rate of 1lb/week), which would put me pretty close to the weight I was at when I first met J. and was at pre-cancer. Still ‘overweight’ but far healthier than I was, a total of about 12% lost. That weight would be very good to go to Italy with — fit and ready to walk all over the place. I’m looking forward to it!

Thanks for hanging in there.