I haven’t been silly in public in a while . . . my thanks to the folks at FAILblog for this.
from elsewhere on the web:
1. Anyone who looks at this entry has to post this meme and their current wallpaper.
2. Explain in five sentences why you’re using that wallpaper!
3. Don’t change your wallpaper before doing this! The point is to see what you had on!
1. It’s called Brilliant Sunset.
5 reasons: I love the colors. It takes me to a very good ‘place.’ It has a lot of movement. I feel like I’m at the beach. When I look at it I feel like I can go forever.
I’m sure this is making the rounds on email, but I found it too endearing, and frightening, not to share with y’all.
Actual Analogies and Metaphors Found in High School Essays
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
26. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.
27. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
28. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
see more pwn and owned pictures
Ok — that’s pretty funny. But what gets me is that Euphrates would be listed as a potential girls name. To my mind that is MUCH more bizarre than ESPN.
I haven’t done this in a while . . .
Using ONLY SONG TITLES from ONE artist, cleverly answer these questions:
Pick a band/artist: Garbage
1. Are you a male or female: Androgyny
2. Describe yourself: I Think I’m Paranoid
3. How do you feel about yourself: You Look So Fine
4. Describe your ex boyfriend: Bad Boyfriend
5. Describe your current boy/girl situation: Til The Day I Die
6. Describe your current location: Happy Home
7. Describe where you want to be: Afterglow
8. Your best friend is: Cup of Coffee
9. Your favorite color is: Cherry Lips
10. You know that: Why Don’t You Come Over
11. What’s the weather like: I’m Only Happy When It Rains
12. If your life was a television show what would it be called? The Trick Is to Keep Breathing
13. What is life to you: Wild Horses
14. What is the best advice you have to give: Sex Is Not The Enemy
15. If you could change your name what would you change it to: Tornado
I think this says enough.
Sorry for the silence, things have been nutsoid at work and in life. I’ve been spending a lot of time fending off a cold (J is down for the 2nd time this year with one), barely maintaining my personal responsibilities while work stuff is eating into even more of my private time, and hibernating to destress from work. That said, things have been fine (if our usual fantasticness) at the House of Smooches.
Overall, you have partaken in 108 out of 174 possible life experiences.
Your average life experience score is therefore 62%.
The average score is 51%, making your experiences more than 80% of the people who have taken this test.
The average for your age group (36-55) is 56%.
Broken down by category:
Art: 6/17 (35%)
Career & Work: 10/13 (77%)
Civics & Technology: 2/7 (29%)
Crime & Disarray: 5/11 (45%)
Education: 10/18 (56%)
Fashion: 12/15 (80%)
Fitness, Health and Sports: 4/7 (57%)
Life in General: 8/14 (57%)
Relationships: 11/14 (79%)
Religion & Politics: 1/4 (25%)
Social: 18/22 (82%)
Travel: 10/20 (50%)
Vices: 11/12 (92%)
Interesting. There are some questions that were a bit leading, and its not nearly as detailed as it could be. but this is an interesting survey.
Your result for Howard Gardner’s Eight Types of Intelligence Test: Linguistic
31% Logical, 25% Spatial, 51% Linguistic, 27% Intrapersonal, 16% Interpersonal, 25% Musical, 18% Bodily-Kinesthetic and 45% Naturalistic!
“Verbal-linguistic intelligence has to do with words, spoken or written. People with verbal-linguistic intelligence display a facility with words and languages. They are typically good at reading, writing, telling stories and memorizing words and dates. They tend to learn best by reading, taking notes, listening to lectures, and via discussion and debate. They are also frequently skilled at explaining, teaching and oration or persuasive speaking. Those with verbal-linguistic intelligence learn foreign languages very easily as they have high verbal memory and recall, and an ability to understand and manipulate syntax and structure.
Careers which suit those with this intelligence include writers, lawyers, philosophers, journalists, politicians and teachers.” (Wikipedia)
I’m including the info for Naturalistic as well, since that is so (relatively) close to my linguistic score.
“This area has to do with nature, nurturing and relating information to one’s natural surroundings. This is the eighth and newest of the intelligences, added to the theory in 1999. This type of intelligence was not part of Gardner’s original theory of Multiple Intelligences. Those with it are said to have greater sensitivity to nature and their place within it, the ability to nurture and grow things, and greater ease in caring for, taming and interacting with animals. They may also be able to discern changes in weather or similar fluctuations in their natural surroundings. They are also good at recognizing and classifying different species. “Naturalists” learn best when the subject involves collecting and analyzing, or is closely related to something prominent in nature; they also don’t enjoy learning unfamiliar or seemingly useless subjects with little or no connections to nature. It is advised that naturalistic learners would learn more through being outside or in a kinesthetic way.
The theory behind this intelligence is often criticized, much like the spiritual or existential intelligence (see below), as it is seen by many as not indicative of an intelligence but rather an interest. However it might have been a more valuable and useful intelligence in prehistoric times when humans lived closer to nature.
Careers which suit those with this intelligence include scientists, naturalists, conservationists, gardeners and farmers.” (Wikipedia)