Thank you, Mr. Swift

I really can’t abide anyone who claims to be a christian. This goes double for “catholics,” “Presbyterians” or anyone whose religion takes more than 6 letters to spell (or two syllables). Mostly this is because I grew up in the NorthEast (US) which, along with bureaucrats and homosexuals, has a disproportionately high number of smug catholics who seem to regard contemplating a bloody man as an act of religious piety (come to think of it, these three things frequently overlap) . . .  I have come to the conclusion that christians are evil, not because they have a hard time doing as much good in the world as they seem to think others should do, but because they have such appalling taste. I mean, take care of the poor, promote abstinence, and go to church on Sundays. But do you have to do it while wearing tweed jackets, frumpy dresses, and hats that belong to an age almost half a century ago?

I’m making a point here. The above is a re-write of the below paragraph with one word (and its associations) changed. It would have been even more pointed had I used African-American instead of ‘christian,’ wouldn’t it?

“I really can’t abide anyone who claims to be a pagan. This goes double for “witches”, “wiccans” or anyone who spells “magic” with a “k”. Mostly this is because I grew up in Canberra which, along with public servants and lesbians, has a disproportionately high number of smug hippies who seem to regard recycling as an act of religious piety (come to think of it, the three things frequently overlap)… I have come to the conclusion that pagans are evil — not because they get in touch with the devil or warp the minds of the young or are responsible for more bad heavy metal art than anyone else, but because they have such appalling taste. I mean, sure, get in touch with the Great Spirit, run through the woods and kill a goat. But do you have to do it while wearing crushed velvet harem pants, Robin Hood shoes, pentagram jewelery and a purple satin cape?”

From: “Bring back the witch hunt” by Brendan Shanahan, printed in Australia’s Daily Telegraph, March 2, 2007. http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,21308511-5001031,00.html

(My thanks to The Wild Hunt blog for pointing this out.)

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