(If you are interested at the beginning of this portion of the tale, please see my blog entry on August 23rd)

One of the fundamental rules of life is this: The wife always wins. This is not a bad thing, and I’m a wife myself so I support this rule wholeheartedly . Its reality, and a good way to go through life. (OK, the spouse always wins, is that better?) I am not referring to some dramatic moment of tension within a couple’s history, but the fact that each couple must choose to stand together, rather than allow others to come between them.

And if that means that your partner doesn’t like one of your friends (or used to, but no longer does) then: the wife wins. And you no longer have that friend. A wife/spouse/partner is a person to be celebrated and cherished and the one with whom you must stick — for better or worse, through wealth and famine, in sickness and in health. That is a sacred vow and a sacred obligation

My friend’s spouse remains to angry with me to communicate, and that breach will (from this vantage point) never be healed. My friend has always done her best to be honest with me, and has worked as hard as she could to heal the gaping wound that appeared. No fingers need point, there is no more to be done. The wife always wins. 

The patient died on the table. We did our best, but there were no signs of life, and so we pulled the plug. We did so in sorrow, but also with honesty and a sense of necessity. This is the season of endings and our farewell has the feeling of rightness that accompanies correct action.

Blessed be.