Category Archives: Health

Surgery v2, The Next Day

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My surgery went very well . . . I think. I was unconscious for most of it. 🙂 My anesthesiologist was incredibly good. And I must say  that if you or any member of your family needs reconstructive work done in this area (cosmetic or otherwise) this place is highly recommended.

Yesterday and now today I *am* in a lot of pain, but that’s just a part of what needs to happen. I won’t know how I really *feel* until next week. I have a followup on Tuesday morning — and NO SHOWER until then!

I was taken into the OR at about 8am, and John was brought back to see me in the recovery room about 11:30am. Not too much later we were at Starbucks having a latte and egg sandwich on pumpernickel while my ‘scrips got filled. Home ’round 1pm and then I went to sleep for a few hours while John took Sasha swimming.

VERY different from the first procedure. Of course, I was on such heavy meds the 1st time that I didn’t hurt at all, and that’s not the case now. Oh well. The pain will pass.

OK, enough typing. I’m off to read a book.

Thanks for the well wishes

The Tunnel Has An End

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A bit of an update.

  • I love my oncologist. If anyone wants a recommendation for an oncologist in the South Seattle area, contact me. I’ll gladly give you his  information. He is just plain NICE, with a warm ‘bedside manner’ and truly listens.
  • If I have chemo and Tamoxifen, my chance of having a recurrence of breast cancer is in the single digits. THAT is worth the trauma.
  • I will very likely lose my hair.
  • I’m not happy about this.
  • I will deal. I will buy lots of lovely hats and learn to wear a scarf. It will likely be gone by the end of March, and won’t start returning until late May.
  • There is some evidence that post-chemo hair grows in without gray, and curlier. So I may look 20 years younger (at least until the gray returns).
  • I’m still having some trouble sleeping, but it’s improving.
  • I’m really glad J. is home (he changed his plans to make it home in time to come with me to meet with the oncologist). I have a partner, not a boyfriend.
  • (J’s mom is improving: no more fever, and she’s off the respirator. The medical staff are really positive about her recovery.)
  • I am scheduled for my 2nd surgery next Wednesday (1/20) at ~10:30am PT.

Overall, I am in a fairly good mood. Mostly I think that my stubbornness is turning out to be an asset. I can’t do much other than move forward, so I am. This is the crap part, but it is not forever.

It’s been an Exciting Week

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I’m still trying not to type too much . . . but life requires it, so I’ll just be brief-ish.

J’s mom went into the hospital last week, I believe on NY’s Eve. They thought it was pneumonia, but antibiotics didn’t seem to work, and then she started to have physical issues, including not being able to communicate and unable to eat. THEN she began to not recognize family members. She’s in her early 80s, so this is not good. He made plans to fly out there (there = South Carolina) Thursday morning. Yesterday they diagnosed bacterial meningitis, which is VERY NOT GOOD (25% chance of mortality). This morning his dad called with good news, she’s able to communicate again, and recognizing people. He’s still going . . .

Except that his flight was canceled. So he called me and I suggested going tonight instead. So he’s leaving on a red eye tonight through Monday.

That means I am alone for the weekend. With Sasha. Fortunately, I have good friends and a couple of them are going to come over and go with me to the lake to swim her. I can manage the rest. J. has put gas in the car, is doing a foodshop so I have supplies on hand, and I’m making sure that anything I might need help with either doesn’t need to be done, or we’ll do now.

Because while my meeting with the pain specialist went well, and I have high hopes . . . at the moment I am still in some amount of pain. (Note to self: I think ‘post hypnotic suggestions’ don’t work well on you.) More on that in another post. Short version: it WILL help, and I already feel comfortable recommending this specialist to others.

In the end, I’m a bit freaked out. I’m reassuring myself that I will be fine, that I can call on others for help, and that I can do this. What is  . . . freaking me out . . . is that these will be the first days since my surgery (8 weeks ago tomorrow) that I will be absolutely on my own.

I’m not going to dwell on that now. Instead I am going to change the subject.  Today I found my dream house (although I can’t have it).

It’s perfect. Want to see?

ok . . . ok . . . I get it

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I swear, I do listen to y’all. More important, I act on your advice.

It seems like everyone ‘yelled’ at me yesterday, both here and via email. I was taking action even then:

  • I met with my therapist: I am not crazy, I am in pain, I need to get on top of the pain as my first priority.
  • I called my plastic surgeon. His MA thinks this is ‘just’ nerves healing, and not much can be done because it isn’t an emergency. In any case, I’ll see him 1st thing . . . Tuesday morning.
  • I have an appt on Wednesday with a clinical psychologist who specializes in pain mgmt using hypnosis.
  • I had a lovely dinner with friends last night and it was a marvelous distraction from the discomfort. I had 2 glasses of wine and although it still took awhile to get to sleep, when I did I slept well. (A really good sign.)
  • There are periods of time when I do not hurt, but a lowering of medication produces pain, so we’re working with that.
  • If I do not get an alleviation from the pain by this afternoon, we’ll start adding in some of the leftover prescription meds I still have on hand.

I truly appreciate your advice and support. As you can see, I continue to explore all of the options and am doing my best to work all of this out.

A Real Post

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I’m mostly a little overwhelmed with life. My family usually gathers for Turkey Day, but my health issues precluded that. So we’re gathering (even my parents, who’re divorced 30+ years and haven’t been in the same room since my sister’s wedding 6 yrs ago) for Christmas. We’re leaving for San Francisco in a few hours and I’m just trying to tidy the house a bit before we go. (I hate coming home to a messy house!)

Healthwise: I am doing well, still waiting on test results to see whether I need chemo or not. So this is a bit of a ‘pause’ place. I can recover from the surgery, get (more) used to the breast-like-object on my chest, and enjoy being nicotine free for the first time in about 20 years.

Spiritually: I am processing this lesson like MAD. Saturn’s well-honed (and patented) Kick-in-the-Ass on behalf of the Universe has left me reeling on many levels. It literally could not have been better designed to ‘push all of my buttons’ and I am humbly doing the Work necessary to put it into perspective and move forward.

Financially: 2009 was great, and it’s a good thing because 2010 is going to hurt. We went ahead in the face of uncertainty and bought tickets to a trip to London and Venice in late 2010. Before we get there, however, the medical bills are going to eat into all of my extra money, and perhaps some of my savings. I am blessed with excellent medical people, however, and they are worth every dime it’s cost so far. I am doubly blessed by an excellent insurance package. So while I will pay, I am not paying all of it (it’ll be around$100k before it is all over).

Generally speaking: I continue to be blessed and fortune’s child. This year started with a boom, and me in the middle of a Lesson. The next 9 mos will see an evolution of that Lesson, and my role.

Bright Blessings to you all in the dark of the year!