Musings on Faith

Posted on 8 March 2019 at 2:07 pm in Dear Diary, Mundania, Writing.

Today we walked the dogs at Grandview (Dog Park) and just as we entered I saw a couple of bald eagles soaring high overhead. A little later in the walk, a pair (likely mated) of Red Shouldered hawks landed on a nearby tree, and then took off over the edge of the hill, riding the thermals.

It was a lovely gift from the universe.

I’ve got a lot going on right now, one of those times I’ll look back on and say “well, that sucked to live through”. I’m having a lot of faith that I will also be able to say “It was worth it to get to *here*.”

Change is hard.

We humans aren’t very good at looking ahead and seeing clearly, our bones and cards, and stones, and gods don’t seem to speak clearly enough.

It’s where faith comes in.

I’m not talking about religion, but faith.

Faith that it will be ok.
Faith that you have support.
Faith that you’ll be a better person/ the world will improve/ the lesson will be learned.
Faith that it will be worth it.

Today my husband told me how proud he is that I handle so many things with grace. It’s a real compliment coming from the man I call my rock, the one who’s seen me every time I lose my sh*t, the one who knows just exactly how graceless I become.

I have grace because I have faith, and a whole lot of stubbornness. Really, more stubbornness than faith. I mean, the option is to stop living, and that’s not even on the table.

Because life is always going to bring change, and discomfort, and stress. We can only control what is in our actual power. The rest is not worth worrying about.

But we do worry — because that’s what humans do. We make plans, and then we watch them fail.

Money won’t fix it.
Love doesn’t change it.
Politics can’t alter it.

Life is change.
Change is hard.
Hard times need faith.

I don’t talk a lot about my faith, and I’m not going to now. I’m just going to say that I have it and while I can’t say its a comfort, it’s giving me a little extra strength to push on through.

I’m really looking forward to being able to say it was worth it.

(Hey, a lot of you will be concerned because you care about me, please don’t. It’s nothing specific, or rather it is, but it’s nothing you can do anything about. John and I are doing great, our health is good, the animals are fabulous, our families are doing fine, we feel loved and know we’ve got your support if we ask. I’m just sharing and that’s all.

/The pic below is not mine, but was the type of hawk I saw today./

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