It’s just not that pretty.
But its what I look like now.
(And yes, I do feel like my image is much more like scruffy chick just barely dried than Sinead O’Connor.)
🙂
Brace Yourself
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Category Archives: Dear Diary
Losing My Hair
First off: my fever broke Wed night. I took it easy yesterday, but am back to work today (tho’ likely not for the full day). Things are starting to get a bit critical and I’m needed on site.
Most importantly: on time, and unmistakably, I am losing my hair.
My advice for anyone who may read this because they are in a similar situation: if you think you are losing your hair, you aren’t.
My scalp has hurt for a few days, but that so easily could have been the fever. This morning I got up and into the shower and stepped under the water. Hands running through my hair pulled out bunches. Even though I was (sort of ) expecting this it was a very bad moment. A freak-out kind of moment.
I cut my hair short in expectation (dread) of this. I am so glad I did. Losing your hair is — and I recognize that this is entirely a me thing — losing your hair is MESSY. Seriously, it get s everywhere. Long hair would have been unbearable. Not because of the loss, but because I would have hair in my eyes ALL THE TIME or look down to see a clump just lying on my sleeve. Ugh.
Yes, this happened 30 mins ago. Mourning will occur later. For now, I am glad I listened to my intuition and prepared for this . . . I have so much hair it is going to take a bit for it all to go. I feel ‘safe’ going to work . . . but they’ll be surprised on Monday.
Astonishing Art
This video shows the winner of “Ukraine’s Got Talent”, Kseniya Simonova, 24, drawing a series of pictures on an illuminated sand table showing how ordinary people were affected by the German invasion during World War II. Her talent, which absolutely defines ‘off beat’ is mesmeric to watch. The images, projected onto a large screen, moved many in the audience to tears and she won the top prize of about £75,000.
You can go and watch it and come back here to find out more about the images shown, or read this first. Either way, I promise you that you will not regret the eight minutes you give to this woman’s art.
- She begins by creating a scene showing a couple sitting holding hands on a bench under a starry sky, but then warplanes appear and the happy scene is obliterated.
- It is replaced by a woman’s face crying, but then a baby arrives and the woman smiles again. Once again war returns and Miss Simonova throws the sand into chaos from which a young woman’s face appears.
- She quickly becomes an old widow, her face wrinkled and sad, before the image turns into a monument to an Unknown Soldier.
- This outdoor scene becomes framed by a window as if the viewer is looking out on the monument from within a house.
- In the final scene, a mother and child appear inside and a man standing outside, with his hands pressed against the glass, saying goodbye.
The Great Patriotic War, as it is called in Ukraine, resulted in one in four of the population being killed. In real terms, this was nearly 11 million deaths. I was struck as much by her music choices (and recognized the final song).
An Irish Blessing
I can’t upload this to my blog, but the link should take you there. It’s a lovely visual and aural version of an Irish Blessing.
But not, please note, ‘the’ Irish Blessing, which was spoken as grace in my grandparent’s house, and is one of my dearest memories of my grandfather.
Enjoy.
A New Day, the Journey Continues
The difference in my health from day to day is astonishing.
I haven’t talked a lot about the spiritual side of my journey, mostly because it is intensely personal. Moreover, I’m in the middle of the journey and what I am seeing lacks perspective. But please don’t think that my priestess self is dormant, or that I have left my faith by the wayside.
Today is the day
I had a pretty bad night. I don’t know whether it was eating my chicken biryani at 7:30pm (late for me) or the medication they asked me to take an hour before bed OR its interaction with the valerian root I took an hour before bed as a precaution . . . but I woke up at 1:45am in a sweat with a very upset stomach (acid). I didn’t feel like I was running a fever, but I was soaked. It was quite uncomfortable.
So I got up for awhile, drank a couple of glasses of water to flush the tummy, reassured Sasha that it wasn’t time to get up, and eventually went back to bed, having lost an hour.
I’m all slept out now, and feeling better. Moderately stressed about chemo later today, but that feels ‘normal’.
This is the image I am carrying with me today:
artist unknown, from my files.
J. will be twittering at http://twitter.com/pitchwife. You do not need to sign up to read the twitters, nor an account to get to that webpage.
Thanks for all of your good thoughts, prayers, warm wishes, and energy. If you need to put an intention behind it, please concentrate on the experience being as pleasant as possible with minimal (or no!) side effects.
Short Hair!
Quick update: due to a scheduling error, my chemo is postponed until Friday morning. Tres tedious, but part of the whole ‘live with uncertainty’ lesson i’m apparently supposed to be learning.
Yesterday I went and got my hair cut.
I started out like this:
Went through this:
And ended up like this:
and this:
I’m feeling very cute. 🙂
Amuse Restaurant Review
Our last night in Ashland was dinner at Amuse.
It was heavenly.
We began with grilled asparagus and wood-smoked prawns. J. then had the pork chop, while I went for the pan-seared sturgeon. We finished with beignets.
Magnificent.
Ashland, Day Three
Another great night of sleep, and a lovely breakfast at the Inn.
Today we had orange-banana smoothies, followed by a melon cup with dried cranberries and sunflower seeds. The main course was a light salad of spring greens, toasted cheese bread and a souffle of asparagus, bacon and blue cheese. Quite tasty. We chatted with the innkeeper about restaurants and got into a cheerful debate about the plays we’d seen.
Then I scooted off to my spa pampering session across the street at the Blue Giraffe Day Spa. I began my day with a Kamani body wrap, which left my skin smooth smooth SMOOTH. Then upstairs for a manicure and pedicure, all of which was accompanied by massages. I feel quite pampered now, thank you.
I’m home for a few hours while J. sees another play (Well), and then its off to dinner at Amuse. We’ve been told its the best restaurant in Ashland, and we’re going to test that out.
Ashland, Day Two
We began with another lovely breakfast here at the Inn. Today it was a berry smoothies, followed by grilled pineapple with a vanilla creme, baked french toast with cranberry-orange sauce and pork sausage. Yum.