My mother’s mother lives alone more than 30 minutes from the nearest hospital, and is in her late 80s. (Yes, I know, the whole family knows, but she has very succintly told us all she wants to be left alone.) Several months ago, she fell down and wound up in rehab for a broken pelvic bone.

She’s been recovering nicely, and yesterday went to the dentist and lunch at a restaurant with my aunt.

Last night she fell while getting up to go to the bathroom and broke her hip. At 9am (PT) they started prepping her for surgery.

I am praying for her peace and praying for the best possible outcome.

EDIT: she did well through the surgery and is back to recovering well. my thanks for the best wishes and positive energy.

(To read my original post, see: Full Moon in Capricorn)

Magic is fascinating, especially when it happens in your life unexpectedly.

I found myself in conversation with my sister C. on Friday night. Please understand that my sister isn’t very interested in the spiritual side of her life. She’s not unsympathetic, it just doesn’t have a lot of relevance for her. So I very rarely mention what’s going on with me in that part of my life — including my plans for the FMR.

Out of nowhere, she began to talk to me about the relevance of my stepfather (now ex) in my life. He was there from 7 to 17 when I left home, and didn’t divorce my mom until several years later. He played a part in my formation — good and bad. There are triggers, tapes, that go off because of my life with him.

And I never talk about him.

J. knows I had a stepfather, and his name, but essentially nothing else. He knows more about my step-sister (legally ex, but once a sister, always a sister), in fact. C pointed out that this was a disservice to both of us. J. needs to know why I have certain specific reactions, and I need to remember and honor the man who played a large role in raising me.

Sometimes I think magic works best when you state an intention and allow whatever happens to happen — just get out of its way. At least, it seems that way for me.

Alas, the title has nothing to do with music. I realized yesterday that I have fallen into a funk, not quite a depression, but heading in that general direction. A precursive sensibility of malaise has fallen over me.

I call it ‘subtle funk’.

My warning sign? I’ve been losing track of things — objects lost or misplaced and tasks forgotten. About a month ago I lost a set of keys. No big deal, everyone does it, right? Everyone except me. In 40 years I have never — NEVER — lost a set of keys. (Nor a purse or wallet for that matter.) The tasks have been far subtler, but although my desk is neat, I have a three page list of to-dos that I just keep ‘forgetting’ to do.

I feel this is related to my last ritual. More on that later. (Blogging regularly has been one of those unfinished tasks.)

Wow! I just* heard from the Programming Chair at Convocation with feedback for my two presentations at Convocation 2008. They asked:

Was the teacher knowledgeable?
Would you attend similar events?
Did you feel that you understood what was being presented?
Was there enough time allotted for this session?
Would you recommend this class to others?

Creating Community in Cyberspace got mostly 5’s across the board (5 being the best), and 4s with the comments:

“would definitely recommend”

“would probably recommend”

“It was well presented with much needed information imparted. The open dialogue in class was very useful as well. More programs like this one are needed.”

Magickal Group Dynamics: Identifying the Three C’s that Cause Strife also received all 5s (no comments)

Life Cycle of the Magickal Group also received all 5s and attendees said:

“Lisa is a great presenter, providing very important information on group dynamics.”

“would definitely recommend”

I’m all excited because this is the first time in the nearly 10 years of presenting that I have ever received actual feedback from the programming folks. (Of course, its nice that the feedback itself is so positive :-))

*not really, they sent the email while I was on vacation and I’m only now getting a chance to clear out my Inbox

from lupabitch, with modifications:

Bold what you’ve read
Italicize what you own, but haven’t read

High Magic’s Aid – Gerald Gardner
Witchcraft Today – Gerald Gardner
The Meaning of Witchcraft – Gerald Gardner
An ABC of Witchcraft Past and Present – Doreen Valiente
Natural Magic – Doreen Valiente
King of the Witches – June Johns
A Witches’ Bible: The Complete Witches’ Handbook – Janet and Stewart Farrar
The Witches’ Way – Janet and Stewart Farrar
Eight Sabbats for Witches – Janet and Stewart Farrar
The Witches’ Goddess: the Feminine Principle of Divinity – Janet and Stewart Farrar
The Witches’ God: Lord of the Dance – Janet and Stewart Farrar
Diary of a Drug Fiend – Aleister Crowley
Aha! : Being Liber CCXLII – Aleister Crowley
777 and Other Qabalistic Writings of Aleister Crowley: Including Gematria & Sepher Sephiroth – Aleister Crowley
The Spiral Dance: A Rebirth of the Ancient Religion of the Great Goddess – Starhawk
Drawing Down the Moon: Witches, Druids, Goddess-Worshippers, and Other Pagans in America Today – Margot Adler
Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner – Scott Cunningham
To Ride a Silver Broomstick: New Generation Witchcraft – Silver Ravenwolf
The Holy Book of Women’s Mysteries – Zsuzsanna Budapest
Diary of a Witch – Sybil Leek
Complete Art of Witchcraft – Sybil Leek
Buckland’s Complete Book of Witchcraft – Ray Buckland
Sea Priestess – Dion Fortune
West Country Wicca – Rhiannon Ryall
Earth Magic: A Dianic Book of Shadows – Marion Weinstein
The Underworld Initiation – RJ Stewart
A Book of Pagan Rituals – Herman Slater
Wicca Covens – Judy Harrow
Golden Bough – James Frazer
The White Goddess – Robert Graves
Aradia: Gospel of the Witches – Charles Leland
Triumph of the Moon – Ronald Hutton
Covencraft – Amber K
Fifty Years in the Feri Tradition – Cora Anderson
The Wheel of the Year: Living the Magical Life – Pauline Campanelli
A Witch Alone – Marian Green
Wicca: A Comprehensive Guide to the Old Religion in the Modern World – Vivianne Crowley
Real Magic – Isaac Bonewits
Evolutionary Witchcraft – Thorn Coyle
The Woman’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets – Barbara Walker
Encyclopedia of Wicca & Witchcraft – Raven Grimassi
The Paganism Reader – Chas Clifton
Her Hidden Children – Chas Clifton
The Wicca Spellbook: A Witch’s Collection of Wiccan Spells, Potions, and Recipes – Gerina Dunwich
When, Why … If – Robin Wood
Everyday Moon Magic: Spells & Rituals for Abundant Living – Dorothy Morrison
Creating Circles & Ceremonies: Rituals for All Seasons and Reasons – Oberon Zell-Ravenheart and Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart
The Power of Myth – Joseph Campbell and Bill Moyers
The Sacred and the Profane: The Nature of Religion – Mircea Eliade
The Raw and the Cooked: Mythologiques, Volume 1 – Claude Levi-Strauss
The Witch-Cult in Western Europe: A Study in Anthropology – Margaret Murray
The God of the Witches – Margaret Murray
Book of Shadows: A Modern Woman’s Journey into the Wisdom of Witchcraft and the Magic of the Goddess – Phyllis Curott

Other Books that should be on this list:

Outer Temple of Witchcraft: Christopher Penzcak

Inner Temple of Witchcraft: Christopher Penzcak

Magickal Connections: Lisa Mc Sherry

Back in January I wondered aloud if I was stuck in a rut or genuinely taking advantage of the season to be quiet.

Krishanna replied:

I think in general terms, many pagans are control freaks and try to control their lives rather than accepting life on life’s terms sometimes. There is a certain magic inherent in life, I think, and if you are too busy trying to manifest or force events to happen the way you want them to play out, you miss seeing the magic and miss allowing it to work. XO~ Krishanna

I’ve been ruminating on her words ever since.

In looking back at the patterns in my life, whenever I ‘forced’ a situation – however that came about – the end result was not great. It wasn’t always catastrophic, but I can’t think of a time when it went well. I am, I have come to discover, very impatient for the stuff I want to see happen. So I tend to try and hurry things along and that is when what I am doing becomes CONTROL, not manifestation.

I’m not talking about survival spellwork here, the spells many of us have done because the situation was desperate and we needed more than a little help to get back into balance, or at least a place of security. I’m talking about the conscious manifestation of dreams and desires – the things we want that depend a great deal on others. Like making a major purchase, or retiring from the work force.

Back in January I was feeling frustrated and trapped. In another few weeks I was in sunny Mexico, reading a trilogy of books a friend had just recommended to me. I used the energy from that to reach out to a career coach to talk about the negative messages I was hearing and how to deal with them. In talking with her I realized that the negative feedback wasn’t as awful as I had first thought, and my ego got a good stroking. (It needs it, now and again.) That led to more energy and confidence overall, and one day an idea for a new book came to me.

All I had to do was wait just a bit longer.