Monthly Archives: March 2010

No News is Not Good News

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Sadly, on Monday afternoon I started running a fever. By Monday evening I was at 103*. I’m on mega-antibiotics with an extremely nasty sore throat and having a rough time of it.

I can’t talk, my throat hurts too much. I’m freezing cold most of the time (short hair + bare neck, +  fever = bad combo for warmth). I sleep only an hour or two at a time then have to drink water and/or empty the bladder. I’ve also been having a problem with my breathing — I’ve stopped breathing a couple of times. Very scary. Very likely due to the swollen throat (at least, I’ve never had a problem with sleep apnea before.)

I can only eat very soft foods and liquids. Oatmeal is difficult. So, silver lining in that I’ve lost 3 pounds since the weekend.

I’m on day three of the antibiotics and I am still running a fever (granted, it’s only 99.4 now.) It just doesn’t take me this long, normally, to get well. Another subtle side effect of chemo.

Let’s keep in mind that next Wed is my 2nd session.

A New Day, the Journey Continues

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The difference in my health from day to day is astonishing.

I haven’t talked a lot about the spiritual side of my journey, mostly because it is intensely personal. Moreover, I’m in the middle of the journey and what I am seeing lacks perspective. But please don’t think that my priestess self is dormant, or that I have left my faith by the wayside.

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Post Chemo #1, Day 5

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Day three was a real low, and I thought I was turning a corner (positively) yesterday.

In many ways, I was.

But in the evening I developed severe pain in all of my joints — similar to what you feel with a very bad flu. We called in to the oncologist and apparently this is a typical reaction to the taxotere . . . but a few days later than usual. (Who’s special? Lisa is special!) The oncologist recommended heavy-duty painkillers, so I am now on my old friend Dialudid. For a few days.

Loopy am I.

No work for me. The upside is that I was able to go for a walk (15 min) this morning, which just helps keep the fluids moving) and I’m feeling very good. And if I am bored, I don’t really care. 🙂

Chemo + 72 hours

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It’s more than a little frightening that I feel worse as time goes by; and that this is cumulative.

Because I feel utterly wretched. I have a headache (never good) and am fatigued. The worse part is that I have an awful sore throat — like a prickly lump at the back of my throat, scraping my tongue raw.

I have a call  in to my oncologist to see if there is something palliative I can take to ease the soreness. In the meantime, I’m just waiting for time to pass.

Silver lining? No nausea.

Today is International Women’s Day

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In case you are joining this blog late, I am a woman.

Therefore, today is my day — especially since I’ve been out of my home country at least once. (Fulfilling the international part of the day, you see.)

Celebrate the women in your life. Call them up, send an email, write a letter. They are your mother, your sister, your aunt, your best friend, your girlfriend, your wife, your lover, your partner. They are your colleague, your assistant, your boss, your mentor. They are your priestess, your counselor, your doctor, your lawyer, your grocer, your farmer, your mechanic.

Thank them. They deserve it.

1st Chemo + 48 hours

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I conquered the steroids problem: 1/2 dose taken at least 1/2 hour after both anti-nausea and prilosec are taken and with food.  yay.

ye gods, though, I am tired. despite a good night’s sleep.

Drinking lots of water, tea, and some juice.

So, this is what being poisoned feels like? It’s tough. Not painful, just . . . boring I guess. I make lots of typos when I write, my head isn’t ‘in the game’ and apparently I’m clearly low energy. (I usually have a big field of energy around me. I do not, now.)

I’m also cold, a lot. I’m sitting here in a warm house with a fleece hat on, my neck wrapped in a luxurious silk scarf, in a fleece jacket over a turtleneck. I’m still a bit chilly.

Chemo went well

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That went (surprisingly) well.

It turns out that the night sweats were most likely a side effect of the steroid I took (as a kind of systemic anti-inflammatory, if I understand it correctly). Bad news: I had another (via infusion) this morning, and will take the pills tonight and tomorrow. That is part of my overall regimen. Also, the steroids seems to produce a lot of stomach acid in me, which the anti-nausea meds don’t address (weird science). So I need to get an OTC drug: Prilosec.

Once we got on top of the upset stomach, all went well. No problems with the vein, or the meds going into me. My blood count looks good.

One funny thing: she gave me atavan to calm me down “this may make you feel sleepy.” Nope. I was a slightly ‘out of it’ but no where near sleep.

I’m home and taking care of odds n ends. Feel free to call, but I really don’t have a lot more to say than this, so I’ll understand if you don’t 🙂

My goals for the day: clear my desk off a bit (financial stuff), make a to-do list, go for a walk with Sasha (likely, 15 mins only), do a yoga session (even if its just half the program.

John’s planning to make shrimp and broccoli stir fry for dinner tonight. YUM.

Today is the day

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I had a pretty bad night. I don’t know whether it was eating my chicken biryani at 7:30pm (late for me) or the medication they asked me to take an hour before bed OR its interaction with the valerian root I took an hour before bed as a precaution . . . but I woke up at 1:45am in a sweat with a very upset stomach (acid). I didn’t feel like I was running a fever, but I was soaked. It was quite uncomfortable.

So I got up for awhile, drank a couple of glasses of water to flush the tummy, reassured Sasha that it wasn’t time to get up, and eventually went back to bed, having lost an hour.

I’m all slept out now, and feeling better. Moderately stressed about chemo later today, but that feels ‘normal’.

This is the image I am carrying with me today:

artist unknown, from my files.

J. will be twittering at http://twitter.com/pitchwife. You do not need to sign up to read the twitters, nor an account to get to that webpage.

Thanks for all of your good thoughts, prayers, warm wishes, and energy. If you need to put an intention behind it, please concentrate on the experience being as pleasant as possible with minimal (or no!) side effects.