Monthly Archives: January 2010

The Tunnel Has An End

5 Replies

A bit of an update.

  • I love my oncologist. If anyone wants a recommendation for an oncologist in the South Seattle area, contact me. I’ll gladly give you his  information. He is just plain NICE, with a warm ‘bedside manner’ and truly listens.
  • If I have chemo and Tamoxifen, my chance of having a recurrence of breast cancer is in the single digits. THAT is worth the trauma.
  • I will very likely lose my hair.
  • I’m not happy about this.
  • I will deal. I will buy lots of lovely hats and learn to wear a scarf. It will likely be gone by the end of March, and won’t start returning until late May.
  • There is some evidence that post-chemo hair grows in without gray, and curlier. So I may look 20 years younger (at least until the gray returns).
  • I’m still having some trouble sleeping, but it’s improving.
  • I’m really glad J. is home (he changed his plans to make it home in time to come with me to meet with the oncologist). I have a partner, not a boyfriend.
  • (J’s mom is improving: no more fever, and she’s off the respirator. The medical staff are really positive about her recovery.)
  • I am scheduled for my 2nd surgery next Wednesday (1/20) at ~10:30am PT.

Overall, I am in a fairly good mood. Mostly I think that my stubbornness is turning out to be an asset. I can’t do much other than move forward, so I am. This is the crap part, but it is not forever.

It’s been an Exciting Week

6 Replies

I’m still trying not to type too much . . . but life requires it, so I’ll just be brief-ish.

J’s mom went into the hospital last week, I believe on NY’s Eve. They thought it was pneumonia, but antibiotics didn’t seem to work, and then she started to have physical issues, including not being able to communicate and unable to eat. THEN she began to not recognize family members. She’s in her early 80s, so this is not good. He made plans to fly out there (there = South Carolina) Thursday morning. Yesterday they diagnosed bacterial meningitis, which is VERY NOT GOOD (25% chance of mortality). This morning his dad called with good news, she’s able to communicate again, and recognizing people. He’s still going . . .

Except that his flight was canceled. So he called me and I suggested going tonight instead. So he’s leaving on a red eye tonight through Monday.

That means I am alone for the weekend. With Sasha. Fortunately, I have good friends and a couple of them are going to come over and go with me to the lake to swim her. I can manage the rest. J. has put gas in the car, is doing a foodshop so I have supplies on hand, and I’m making sure that anything I might need help with either doesn’t need to be done, or we’ll do now.

Because while my meeting with the pain specialist went well, and I have high hopes . . . at the moment I am still in some amount of pain. (Note to self: I think ‘post hypnotic suggestions’ don’t work well on you.) More on that in another post. Short version: it WILL help, and I already feel comfortable recommending this specialist to others.

In the end, I’m a bit freaked out. I’m reassuring myself that I will be fine, that I can call on others for help, and that I can do this. What is  . . . freaking me out . . . is that these will be the first days since my surgery (8 weeks ago tomorrow) that I will be absolutely on my own.

I’m not going to dwell on that now. Instead I am going to change the subject.  Today I found my dream house (although I can’t have it).

It’s perfect. Want to see?

PhotoHunt: Lick

16 Replies

This week’s picture is this:

And there is a little story behind it. You see . . .

Our dog, Sasha (2 yr old, pure Lab) *loves* to lick our faces. She is known to climb up on top of my sweetie while he’s watching TV or reading (or sleeping!) and lick his face and head until he’s soaked. So a picture of that seemed like an easy one for this week.

Except that she didn’t want her picture taken. So I have a lot of pictures that look like this:

And the best one, is this:

ok . . . ok . . . I get it

2 Replies

I swear, I do listen to y’all. More important, I act on your advice.

It seems like everyone ‘yelled’ at me yesterday, both here and via email. I was taking action even then:

  • I met with my therapist: I am not crazy, I am in pain, I need to get on top of the pain as my first priority.
  • I called my plastic surgeon. His MA thinks this is ‘just’ nerves healing, and not much can be done because it isn’t an emergency. In any case, I’ll see him 1st thing . . . Tuesday morning.
  • I have an appt on Wednesday with a clinical psychologist who specializes in pain mgmt using hypnosis.
  • I had a lovely dinner with friends last night and it was a marvelous distraction from the discomfort. I had 2 glasses of wine and although it still took awhile to get to sleep, when I did I slept well. (A really good sign.)
  • There are periods of time when I do not hurt, but a lowering of medication produces pain, so we’re working with that.
  • If I do not get an alleviation from the pain by this afternoon, we’ll start adding in some of the leftover prescription meds I still have on hand.

I truly appreciate your advice and support. As you can see, I continue to explore all of the options and am doing my best to work all of this out.