A Response to Ms. Telesco

Losing My / Your Religion

Author: Patricia Telesco
Posted: July 9th. 2006
Times Viewed: 3,659

It has been approximately 20 years since I dove into the Neo-Pagan ideological pool. Of that, the last fifteen years have been dedicated to writing and teaching about various aspects of our faith. Like any Path, things have changed over the years. Some changes have been positive. For example, a lot of us can be more open with our faith without people hiding their children and seeking out torches, and the media is starting to realize we are more than happy to “educate” them when they portray our beliefs inaccurately.

Some changes, on the other hand, have been negative. The current trend toward even more separatism in our community, returning to the comfort of our broom closets, and the lack of energy toward truly establishing ourselves as a viable, recognized religious group qualifies. I’m honestly discouraged. Many leaders and facilitators are discouraged. They look at dwindling festivals, publishers closing down entire lines of New Age books, and the seemingly never-ending petty infighting and ask: why bother? Why continue? I think we’re in danger of losing our religion to apathy, to a budget crisis, to weariness, to stubborn egos, and to the conservative trend in this country that is neatly chipping away at the Church-State barrier…. (continued at http://www.witchvox.com/va/dt_va.html?a=usny&c=words&id=10827)

I respect Ms. Telesco, she has more than lightly earned her right to speak about being an elder, and problems she sees within our community. But is the situation truly this bad? Or ar we seeing the ‘backside’ of the pendulums’ swing? Our community has grown enormously in the last 20 years and, like most teenagers, some of that growth hasn’t been pretty.

Yes, we ask a lot of our Elders — but they also give far more than we ask for, and perhaps there is an unhealthy dynamic of need and respect and presumption? This is a bit delicate, but what does a community of (theoretically) self-responsible, direct-connection-to-the-Divine people doing demanding so much from our Elders that they cannot supply our need? Or, have they encouraged our need of them and are exhausted from trying to meet the increased demand. (I know, thats an uncomfortable and potentially incendiary thought.) Let me be clear: technically, I am a member of the pagan clergy. I teach, am available to lead rituals on behalf of my community, and I offer back to the larger community by writing. I don’t plan to ‘make a living’ by being clergy, nor do I want to. It is my calling, but not my life.

Our community is not built by clergy, by directive individuals; it is built by the larger group who identify as similar to us. When we reach out to each other, instead of to an individual, we grow our community, we connect, we grow stronger. Yes, we need clergy. But a crisis of faith does not need to be dealt with within the hour. It can wait, at least a few hours (right?). Rituals are rarely done on the spur of the moment. Health-related crisis do happen suddenly, but no matter how respected, clergy can only attend at visiting hours — and those tend to be after work hours. Being pagan clergy is not a full time occupation, even as large a group as we have become in recent decades can not support clergy.

(Notice how I’m side-stepping the issue of charging for services? Even though it is one way to earn a living as clergy.)

Yes, 70% (or so) people who identify in some fashion as ‘neo-pagan’ practice as solitary. They do not do this because they can not find clergy, locally, so much as they haven’t enjoyed the groups they found. They don’t need to know where the ‘witch church’ is — they need to find people who are a pleasure to be with. They don’t necessarily want to be public about their beliefs and going to ‘church’ is the last thing they want to be seen doing.

I think its insulting to label 90% of our community as gripers, lacksadaisical, people who want ‘drive-through enlightenment.’ I think its enough to practice quietly, with faith, and pass on our knowledge in smaller numbers. Doing so will not relegate us to a historical footnote, or a fad. We do not need to imitate other religions to co-exist with them.

Blurring

Another day where I will spend most of it working for my mundane job — about 6 hours worth, to be exact. The rest of my life is falling ‘behind.’ I know I’ll catch up, but its making me a tad crazy in the moment.

The Beltane Papers Needs Your Help

(Full Disclosure: I am the Book Review Coordinator for TBP)

The Beltane Papers, an all-volunteer magazine, has been in service to the Pagan Community for more than 20 years now. In that time it has weathered fair times and foul and succeed in producing a beautiful, scholarly journal of the Mysteries. Now, with the severe illness of the editor, Marione and a distributor’s bankruptcy (after we paid them $3, 000) Issue #38 hangs at the edge. The issue is complete, it is at the printers, and if we don’t find another $2000 we simply won’t be able to go to print (we need $4200, and have $2400, the additional $200 is to help with mailing costs).

We are reaching out to our community.

If you can spare even $5 it can make the difference between a success print and yet another Pagan magazine falling by the wayside. (How many of us still miss Green Egg?)

Major contributors’, individuals or businesses will be listed on our website and in a future issue with contact information (unless, of course, they request anonymity).

Our website (www.thebeltanepapers.net) has a link to PayPal, making a donation quick. But we can also accept checks at:
The Beltane Papers
P.O. Box 29694
Bellingham, WA 98228-1694

If all goes well, we will print and mail this issue.

But what about the future? Yes, we *are* looking to the future of this magazine. We can’t (and have no desire to) come begging to the community every time we need to make up the difference.
An immediate help would be an increase in the number of subscribers. We need to double the number of people receiving The Beltane Papers primarily because our printing costs would nearly halve. It would also allow us to work with larger distributors and you might actually see our beautiful magazine in more local stores.

We are also assembling an aggressive marketing campaign to reach out to new subscribers (and advertisers), but our editor’s illness has hindered our efforts in that direction. We expect this to be a one-time need, and we honor our responsibility to produce a beautiful, factual, fascinating Journal for our Community.

We look to our community for assistance, and are grateful for all help — even if it’s just spreading the word.
Thank you, profoundly.
the All-Volunteer Staff of
The Beltane Papers: A Journal of Women’s Mysteries
Website: http://www.thebeltanepapers.net

Exhaustion, not just a word…

… but a state of being.

Yesterday (7/1) I worked 16 hours. All told, my work week (starting on Monday) was 60 hours long. Amazing. I haven’t done this ot myself since I was in college and combining part-time work with an over-full class schedule.

My company moved from our quaint, but expensive and poorly designed office space inside a semi-converted house in a sweet neighborhood to a ‘regular’ office space on the fringes of downtown. We now have private offices and cubicles, as well as a real kitchen (seating for more than 12!), a library (which may actually get organized, now) and an environment where we all can see one another, daily.

I have to say, I’m pretty convinced that I’m going to get crap about the new space. The people I work with (and have ‘gone to bat for’ on numerous occasions) don’t think well of me. They are fools, as I am generous with those I manage and am always looking for a way to promote people into better places. Amusingly, they think the grass is greener elsewhere, but won’t just leave to find out. I’m going to get shit for having an office, and a corner one at that (although I didn’t choose it, but the Founder asked to switch with me and I said yes). I say: put in 15+ years of excellent, focused work in one area of expertise and then tell me I don’t deserve an office. In the end: I’m not sure how much longer I want to stay, even if the benefits are great and the pay is very good.

The sad part: I have to be at work on Monday, a day when everyone else in the company has off because I committed to making the common areas fully functioning for them. Will I get thanks? Maybe. The IT lady will be with me, because she’s a trouper and ‘gets’ the need for a functioning office when we start up again. One other person in the company offered to help with the move.

Oh my, I’m grumpy about this.

Many Blessings

Last night, in JaguarMoon’s Temple, we birthed a daughter — Southern Cross.

It was a magickal event that went far better, and far more beautifully than I expected (having crazily written the ritual a mere two days before). After Dedicating our newest member, we turned our attention to raising the energy and focusing it, until we manifested our daughter.

I am truly blessed.

Vichyssoise

We seem to have moved from a wet spring to an overly hot summer in a day. Mostly, its cope-able (the ceiling fans are a lifesaver), but my younger cat (Shasta) has taken to vomiting in the afternoon. Since its only then, its likely heat-related. But she doesn’t display the other symptoms of heatstroke (dizziness, bright red/purple mucus membranes, wheezing, excessive fur licking) so I am remaining calm.

I spent almost an hour talking with author Denise Dumars (Be Blessed is her newest pagan-related work, Dark Archetypes [with Lori Nyx] was another). Greta lady, interesting conversation. She gave me some pointers about publishing with NP and we discussed the state of the publishing industry. She even asked to read a draft of Magickal Connections and to write a blurb!

:::happy me:::

Yes, I still get happy at being ‘recognized’ as an author and taken seriously. Its related to my innate self-depreciation (bad grammar: you can’t have any other form of self-depreciation, can you?). But its not an ‘issue’ so much as a natural sense of modesty.

Enough self-indulgence, back to work….

Dear Diary….

It’s going to be in the 90s today, pushing the envelope of tolerable for me. We had celing fans installed two weeks ago, today we’ll see how well they work.

Otherwise, I’m exhausted. The company moves next Saturday, and I’m in the final stages of the push towards the end. We have (as can be expected) some last minutes structrual changes in the new space, and if the timetable wasn’t full of about a week’s worth of slack, we wouldn’t make it. I’ve planned well, however, and I have pros all around, so I think we’ll do it. The details are taken care of, and I’m pretty sure I haven’t forgotten anything huge at this point. (That was last week’s worry.)

The book is coming along. This last week I had the pleasure of contacting a number of author acquaintances and asking them if they will read Magickal Connections (formerly: Magkical Group Dynamics) and provide a blurb. Almost all have agreed to do so — an ego boost of major proportions! — and many wanted to read the whole thing. Very cool for me. (Excuse me while I purr, will you?  puuuuurrrrrrrrr….) Its still in rough form after being STUFFED with 30,000 extra words, and I lack things like attributions and there’s a whole section that I lifted from the web that I’m deciding whether to keep, re-write to make completely relevant, or quote from (with permission, of course).

I am so very blessed by having support for my work. My desire now is to create a document worthy of the community I participate in.

Solstice Joy

As is our wont, we gathered just before 7pm (PT) and prepared for our Solstice ritual. In former years, we followed a ritual handed down from ShadowMoon. That ritual celebrated the Lady in all of Her glory.

Then, last year, one of our coven members (Daystar) metaphorically raised his hand and said, “um… excuse me, but .. where’s the God?” He was right — we celebrated her, in all of Her summer glory and bounty, but virtually ignored Him. At the height of his power, even. (Lo, the blindness and forgiveness!) Daystar and I discussed the ritual and made a massive change: it became a Drawing Down the Sun ritual with a metaphorical battle between the Oak King and Holly King as the Triple Goddess looks on. For various reasons, I drew the sun down in ’05 and it was an amazing experience.

This year, Daystar drew down — to my immense pleasure and pride. If you’d told him a yera ago that he would be doing this, he would have laughed, and then run as far as he could get away. This year he asked me if he could do it. Sweet — GLORIOUS — transformation. I am so proud of him and the work he is doing.

Everyone wanted to talk to the God, even I. Don’t get me wrong, I talk to the God/dess all the time throughout my day (and yes, they do talk back, but I’m not delusional). But having the chance in ritual to so is special to me — I’m usually the one aspecting and its a little tricky to maintain both roles well. I heard what I needed to hear, and it was clear that He was speaking, not Daystar. (Different intonation, ‘feel,’ tonality…)

Magickal, mystical and momentous.

Returning to Health

On Friday (June 2nd) I went to see my chiropractor for the first time in more than five years. He’s a nice guy who works in downtown Seattle, and has changed little since the last tiem I saw him.  His practice has changed, however and he does a lot of mental/energy work along with the adjustments.

Turns out that my recent ‘buzzing’ sensation along the outside of my arms is linked to a trauma when I was 12. I can’t describe to you the process he used to find that out, but suffice it to say that when he counted down to that age I swayed and almost lost my balance (after a brief sway for age 28). It was utterly amazing. My body literally spoke to me about what it was feeling. The perfect thing for this skeptic to experience.

His adjustment (before the energy work, which was a kind of ‘resetting’ of the bio-computer so the adjustment wouldn’t be immediately UN-adjusted) was intense, and nearly painful.

I felt great all weekend. Muy Thai on Saturday was a lot of fun (although I overdid it and injured my hip again, but it healed up by Sunday) and the first time John and I have managed to make the same session in too long. Best of all: no buzzing.

Exploring themes

I’m a user, not a creator and the ability to change the look of this site with the click of the mouse is fascinating for me. I spent far too much time today looking for and downloading themes by others (check the site credits at the bottom of the page if you want to know who did what).

And, of course, I want to make changes (in the font type, or the size) small, but persistent. I see, this is how the devil gets you. Or, at least its how he gets me.